Chicago! Starring the Cast of Harry Potter!
by Enchantress Alexandria
Summary: What do you get when you mix broadway and Harry Potter? The Harry Potter Chicago! Parody! R&R! Diclaimer in chapter 2!


Blah..I'm doing it again. Starting a story when I havn't finished another one..XD Well..I'll finish this one before I post it... I hope..x-x  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Chicago..thought I wish I did..  
  
Characters:  
  
Velma Kelly - Lavander Brown  
  
Roxie Hart - Hermione Granger  
  
Amos Hart - Cedric Diggory  
  
Billy Flynn - Harry Potter  
  
Fred Casley - Ron Weasley  
  
Miss 'Mama' Morton - Padma Patil  
  
'Cell Block Tango' Girls -  
Velma - Lavander Brown Hungarian Girl - Ginny Weasley June - Parvati Patil Liz - Angelina Johnson Annie - Kaite Bell Mona - Amara Laysona (Original Character)  
  
Announcer Guy - Lee Jordan  
  
Chapter 1  
  
1920's. The world was filled with jazz, liquor, and cabaret's. I shall take you now, to one in the heart of Chicago.  
  
Lavander Brown, walked to the back of the cabaret. She pulled of her sister's name on the sign, and walked in through the back. "Where've you been Lavander? We start in two! And where's your sister?" Her boss said. Lavander rolled her eyes.  
  
"She isn't herself tonight.." she shoved her gun into her dresser, wrapping in a kercheif. She went over to the sink, and washed some blood off her hands. She quickly got dressed, and started getting on stage.  
  
"And now, the greatest two woman act..we are proud to introduce to you.." the music started to play, as Lavander came up from a stand. The music started to play. "The Brown sisters.."  
  
The band looked at Lavander awkwardly, but she ignore it, and started to sing. "Come on babe, why don't we paint the town..and all that jazz. I'm gonna rogue my knee's, and roll my stockings down." She motioned with her head for the spotlight guy to move her sister's spotlight to her. "And all that jazz. Start the car I know a whoopee spot, where the gin is cold but the piano's hot!"  
  
Lavander walked up closer to the front stage. "It's just a noisy hall with a nightly brawl and all...that..jaazz.." She started posing variously and dancing. "Slick your hair, and wear your buckle shoes..and all that jazz..I heard that feather dip is gonna blow the blues..and all that jazz.." Lavander kept on going with the dances and poses. "Hold on, hun we're gonna bunny hug. I bought some asprin and the United Drug..In case you shake apart and want a brand new start to do..that.." Lavander's back-up singers/dancers came out.  
  
Hermione Granger, leaning on a post somewhere, imagined herself singing the song. "Jazz!" Ron Weasley came up to her. "Let's go, babe" he said, pulling Hermione out of the night club. "But I didn't even meet your friend. That..that manger guy.." Ron smiled. "Don't worry Hermione..it's all taken care of."  
  
Hermione followed Ron out. "You told him about me?" Ron continued smiling. "Yeah kid. It's all arranged.." Lavander is still singing. "Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose..and all that jazz! Right up here is where I store the juice. And all that jazz! Come on babe we're gonna brush the sky I bet you luck Lindy never flew so high! Cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear to all..that..jazz?" Lavander and her company moved at a faster pace.  
  
"Oh! Your're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake!" The company replied with, "And all that jazz!" "Oh! She's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break!" Again the company replied. "And all that jazz!" Lavander began moving at an even faster pace. "Show her where to park her girdle..Oh! Her mother's blood'd curdle!" The company replied, "If she'd hear her baby's queer.." "For all..that..jazz.."  
  
Meanwhile, Hermione and Ron had gotten back to Roxie's house. They started making out on the stairs of the apartment, when the landlady opened the door. "Oh! Hello Mrs. Mcgonagal!" Mrs. Mcgonagal raised an eyebrow. "Mrs. Granger.." Hermione giggled. "This is Ron. He's my brother.." The two laughed, and ran up to Hermione's room.  
  
"All that jazz! Come on babe why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz..and all the jazz. "I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down..and all that jazz..and all that jazz..Start the car I know a whoopee spot where the gin is cold but the piano's hot! It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl and all..that..jazz.." Lavander contiued singing.  
  
Ron had Hermione almost completly undressed. "Say it again.." she moaned. "You're a star, kid. My little shooting star!"  
  
"No, I'm no one's wife but oh I love my life and all! That! Jazz! That jazz!" Lavander's song finished.  
  
"Say it again, Ron!" Hermione said. "Jesus.." was Ron's reply as he started to get dressed. "Hey, what's the hurry? Amos isn't gonna be home untill midnight. Ronnie? Ron?" Hermione walked up to him, putting her robe on. "Hey you know, I don' like you to feel like I'm nagging or anything. But don't you think it's about time for me to meet your friend down at the Onyx? It's been a month since you told him about me. I know. Cause I was there the night they met Brown, plus her husband and her sister. You know, they said she found them in a kit together. Guess from where it's from. Amos opened it to somebody else. I throw him a party. - Your're not going away, right?"  
  
Ron continued getting dressed. "It's getting late.." Hermione walked up to him, tracing her fingers along his back. "I've been thinking a lot about my anthem. Whenever I get a really good idea, i write it down at my diary before it puts off in my head. And you know what've come to me? The other day, that all the really knock-out acts. Have something more different going on, you know? Like, a signature bed. And I thought my thing could be a loaf. Give them just enough to feel hungry but always leave them one more. Once I get a name for myself. Maybe we can open up a club in Varum, you know? You could run it, and I could be the headliner."  
  
Ron ignored her. "Get off.." "What's the idea?" She asked, following him again. "Wake up, kiddo. You aren't ever gonna have an act.." Hermione frowned. "Says who?" Ron sighed. "Face it, Heriome. You're two big towers with skinny legs, and I'm just a furniture salesman.." Hermione followed him around the room. "But you got connections. You know that guys down the club.."  
  
"There's no guy.." Hermione looked at Ron shocked. "Yeah, that night.." "It's the first time I set foot in that joint. I get clicked a bet from the trombone player.." Hermione frowned. "So you never told anyone about me?"  
  
Ron laughed a bit. "Sugar, you're hot stuff. I would say anything to get a piece of that.." he pinched her butt, then started leaving. "Stay then. Now?" Ron sighed. "It has some laughs..Let's just leave it like that.." "Ron..you can't do this to me.." she started kissing his neck. "You get off! You touch me again, I'll put your lights out!"  
  
Hermione sobbed. "Wait.." "Your husband will be home soon. Why don't you watch yourself. Don't head into shit again." Hermione kept sobbing. "You're a liar, Ron!" Ron scoffed. "Oh yeah, so what?" "You lied to me.." Ron laughed a bit. "That's right sweetheart..that's right.." Hermione grabbed her gun from the dresser. "You son of a bitch!" She shot him. "Son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!"  
  
----  
  
The photographer looked at the Sergeant. "Why are you bothering, Rem? This one's all wrapped up. I hear it's a new city record. From killing to confession in an hour for that." Sergeant Lupin ignored the photographer, and turned to Cedric. "Why did you get the murder weapon?" Cedric sighed. "I keep a gun in the underwear drawer. Just in case there's trouble, you know."  
  
"That's just fine. Sign right there, Mr. Diggory."  
  
"For you, gladly. Very gladly."  
  
"And mind that you don't say we beat you up when your at the witness stand."  
  
"No, I give myself up. Surrender at my own free will.."  
  
Severus Snape interupted the conversation. "It's indeed..you're the murderer.." Hermione frowned. "Shooting a burglar isn't murder. Just last week jury sent a man-" "I'm grateful if the citizens know the law. Get him there..you too, sit. Okay..from the top.." Snape said, listening intentivley.  
  
Cedric started. "Well, I come home from the garage, and I see him climbing through the window.." "Aha.." Snape said, writting a few notes. "With my wife, Hermione, lying there, sleeping like an angel.." Snape turned to Hermione. "Is this true, Mrs. Diggory?" Hermione looked at him nervously.  
  
"I'm telling you, that's the truth. My wife has nothing to do with it. She won't hurt a worm. Not even a worm. Until I fired the first shot, then she opened her eyes. She was somehow in sleep. I would say she sleeps in charisma pray.When I think of what would happen if I went off for a beer with the guy instead of coming straight home, it makes me sick even think about it..."  
  
Lee Jordan appears, and begins talking. "For her first number, Ms. Hermione Granger would like to sing a song of Loving Devotion. Dedicated to her dear husbad, Cedric.."  
  
----  
  
Song will be in the next chapter. XD Enjoy! 


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